Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
