you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize