Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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