Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
