He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
