Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
