O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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