If i come over, it means nothing
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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