Hey man sorry I got all grabby
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize