He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
