But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
