She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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