Where did you get a picture of my penis
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
