apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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