i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
