Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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