Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
