Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
