Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
