dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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