At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize