just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I had to cum in my sink.
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