I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
