i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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