She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You've changed since you got that strap on
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
