Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
