did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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