There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
