i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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