i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
