I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
