i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
