I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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