i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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