I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
