I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
