Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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