so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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