cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
