I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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