I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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