Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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