I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
