Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
