woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
