K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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