I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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