I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize