I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
