Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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