You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
