You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
