i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I love you. Go after that dick
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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