I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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