well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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