I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize