do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
