yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
