He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
