My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
