I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
