If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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