Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
