I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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