it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
