My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
