I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
