just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
